Watching an aging loved one’s personality shift from kind and considerate to difficult and sometimes mean can be upsetting and also confusing. You may be wondering what might trigger this type of change and what you should do to help. This blog from Optalis Healthcare offers guidance on how to manage the new and challenging behavior.
Managing Difficult Behaviors in an Older Loved One
Adult children may struggle to adjust to a change in their parent or other loved one’s disposition. What makes it even more challenging is that it is often the people who do the most for a parent who are the target of their animosity.
While aging can exacerbate personality quirks, it typically doesn’t change an individual’s personality completely. For example, if your loved one was always a little short-tempered, it wouldn’t be uncommon to experience this more as they age. However, it’s important to consult a primary care provider and consider the following reasons that may explain a change in personality or disposition, including the following:
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Unmanaged pain you aren’t aware of
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An adverse reaction to a medication or an interaction between two medications
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An undiagnosed infection of some type, such as a urinary tract infection (UTI)
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Depression or a case of the blues
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Early sign of some forms of dementia
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Untreated thyroid disease, which can cause moodiness and mood swings
Scheduling an appointment with your loved one’s primary care provider is essential so they can conduct a complete physical exam to determine the root cause of the behavior change. The cause may be treatable with an antibiotic if the physician discovers an infection, or medication may be prescribed if there’s a problem with the thyroid.
For more senior health and wellness tips, read our blog or explore our resources for older adults and their families.
This blog was originally published in 2021 and updated in 2025.
